Cairo
A polite thing to say about Cairo is that it "lacks personality." Your faithful correspondant, always one to jump at the chance to call a spade a bloody shovel, has some other choice words, including "ugly" and "relentlessly ugly" and "completely without any aspect that could not be described as 'ugly'".

There are certain things worth reporting, however. Saw an advertisement for Cairo's bid to host the 2010 World Cup: "Trust us... and we'll deliver the best World Cup in history!" to various photos of sphynx, pyramids and famous footballers.

Now, the first rule of travel is never trust anyone, especially not yourself. But the second rule of travel must be, never trust an Egyptian who says "trust me" and then tries to sell you something like a boat ride or a tour or a million-dollar world class sporting event. You can haggle on the price all you like but whatever you buy will fall apart the second you walk out of view.

Crammed in the back of a Hyundai, my hotel's tour guide holds forth."To drive in Cairo, you need two things. First, a strong heart," he says as two trucks ahead of us, one in the lane each side of us, begin gently moving towards each other. "Second, to close your eyes," he concludes, pressing the acclerator.

Walking to a restaurant one night, Cam, Fuss and I are helplessly consulting another fine Lonely Planet map when an Egyptian man walks over to offer us help. After pointing us in the right direction, he starts talking to us. Where are we staying? Where are we going? Where are we from? When we answer "Australia", that gets him very excited.
"Morrymedran!" he cries.
"What?"
"Morrymedran!"
"I'm sorry?" I say, completely at a loss about what he is talking about. Melbourne? Marybinong?
"Morrymedran!"
A cog turns in Cam's head and he reluctantly proposes "Molly Meldrum??"
"Yes! Morrymedrran! He is a friend of mine! He stayed with my family for a week in the 70s!"
Now, you hear a lot of tall tales from locals when you travel. But this had to be true. Molly must've stayed with this guy for a week in the seventies. No-one would lie about that..