Dialogue with the Unconscious

A: Okay, good. The Camino de Santiago in Spain. My amazing endeavour, my proof to myself. My life changing experience that changed my life, well, maybe, around the edges. I know, inside, that I’ve changed. Yeah, at the core. I’ve changed. So. What’s my angle. I need an angle. Start with that Jesus line, man I guess I’ll need some research about the history of Santiago. Was it St John or St James? St James I think. The Lonely Planet will probably tell me. Where is it?

U: It’s probably in the living room on the shelf.

A: Anyway, I can find the facts out later. I’ll do the planning now. One post for each day? But I didn’t take notes each day. I guess a lot of those middle days blended after a while, but that doesn’t matter. I’ll still remember funny things about the town names, those stupid songs I entertained myself with over those many, many hours of hiking. And I won’t decide my content too much at the start, I’ll talk about the hike as much as I want, or it could be an internal journey through my blisters and pain and sleeping if I want that as well.

U: Hey, that sun is warm on our back

A: Okay, so I should write something now. Write something, to get started then I’ll be on a roll and I can go back to the planning.

U: The sun is fantastic. London isn’t that cold all the time.

A: Um… it was a dark and stormy night. No. Where do I start? In Berlin, when I took my first step out of that coffee shop with my backpack so light and that beautiful morning and the hangover?

U: The park would be really nice this afternoon.

A: Or, um, when I landed in Spain? My layover in Mallorca? My usual line about flying from Berlin to Madrid one-way: how euro is THAT!?

U: (yawn)

A: No real stories from Madrid. I was excited that I turned up so late in Leon without any real idea of where I could stay. But hard to write about that without big noting myself, and it wasn’t that impressive after all. A town of 200,000 people that’s a major train stop? And I managed to find a hotel all by myself?! Boring. It sure would sound impressive to everyone who’s never left Australia, but it’s not.

U: Hey, maybe we need a coffee

A: … Hey, maybe I need a coffee. No… I drink too much during the week why can’t I cut back on the weekend? No, I won’t have a coffee. I’ll just write. I’ll push through and write.

U: The café in the park serves espresso.

A: Okay, my first sentence will be “It’s hard to explain wh-

U: And it’s only like one pound fifty

A: How about “The story starts around 1100AD, when St Jam-

U: We could go and sit in the park for a while, have a little sleep then get a coffee

A: How about “The story starts around AD 60, when St James, one of Jesus’s inner crew, was martyred near Bethlehem.”

U: … So many facts, none of them checked.

A: It’d be good to know how he died, that’d be a good detail. Anyway “It comes as a surprise to the modern observer”, no “modern savant”

U: You really should know what that word means before you use it

A: Okay, start again: “Given the lucrative trade in holy remains that emerged in the middle ages,”

U: Oh god. He’s started a sentence with the word ‘given’

A: “it comes as a surprise to the modern observer that his mortal remains were found, over a millennium later, in rural Spain. Near the end of the earth”

U: You’ve been writing for work too much. You don’t even know what you’re doing.

A: Oh come ON. That sucks! I’m using all the bullshit shortcuts I can get away with at work!

U: sigh

A: What am I doing? What’s up today? I should be writing! I don’t want to be looking out the window, I want to be writing! Why aren’t I writing?!

U: I’ve ‘given’ you a lot of better things to be doing that’s why.

A: I can’t think of anything better to do! I should be writing!

U: okay then.

Sound of unconscious getting up, closing door. Then footsteps getting closer. Door to flat opens, in walks Unconscious.

A: What? What are you doing here? I don’t see why you’ve got to come barging in disturbing me.

U: Yeah, whatever. You’re the one wasting our time.

A: I’m trying to achieve something. Trying to write something so I have something to show for my day.

U: Um, okay. Sure. ‘Achieve’ something if you want, but don’t expect me not to come up with a million other better things to do.

A: Like what? The Camino was excellent, don’t try to say you didn’t like it.

U: It was okay, I guess

A: And I just want to write about it? I don’t write enough about these things so can you give me a little something? Maybe stop distracting me for a second?

U: I’m not trying to sabotage you or anything, I just think we’d be having a better time doing something else.

A: Like what?

U: Hello? Have you not been paying attention? Lying in the sun outside? While we still have some? Maybe close our eyes and see if you can relax long enough to get some sleep? Maybe get something to each beforehand, one of those burgers maybe.

A: Why do you talk like an American teenager?

U: I don’t know, maybe all those sitcoms you watched? Anyway, this is what I want to do: get some food, walk to the park, lie down in the sun and go to sleep if you can shut up for five minutes. THEN have a coffee.

A: Then we can do some writing?

U: Eh, whatever. Everyone will probably be at the pub by then.

A: Yeah, sure they will be. And you’ll make us go along again, like you always do.

U: You know, you used to be more fun. You’ve gotten totally precious since you went travelling.

A: Don’t try to distract me from my point. I want to do some writing this weekend. When’s it going to happen.

U: We’re missing the best part of the sun you know.

A: No, screw it. I’m going to have a cup of tea – tea! – and write something. THEN maybe go to the pub tonight.

U: Well, if the tea will get rid of this headache maybe you’ll be less crabby. Just not that green crap. Proper breakfast tea in that pint glass again.

A: Okay, okay. (goes to make tea)

U: (Calling from living room) you know what would be better than lying in the sun?

A: What? I can’t hear you.

U: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN LYING IN THE SUN?

A: What?

U: GETTING A BLOW JOB WHILE LYING IN THE SUN.

A: You’re offensive.

U: (Walking to kitchen) ha ha haa GO ON, ADMIT IT. YOU’D LOVE a blow job.

A: What’s your point?

U: Umm… My point is… HOW GOOD would a blow job be right now?

A: What… How… How does this help us?

U: I’m suggesting things to do that would be like a million times better than your self-important writing.

A: You don’t think its self-important. You love success as much as I do.

U: Are you kidding? You don’t even like success! It makes you uncomfortable! I’m the one that loves it. But I don’t want success right now. I want a blow job.

A: (sighs)

U: Don’t sigh at me like that.