Rules for a successful experience of Turkey
1. When crossing the road, abandon your foolish Western notions of exercising care and caution, and the particularly ludicrous idea that pedestrians have some right be in transit across the road. Turkish cars have tasted tourist blood and they like it. You must do what the locals do and hurl yourself across the road at speed whenever there is more than a one metre gap in the stream of traffic. Newcomers to Istanbul may find it easier to use this rule of thumb: cross the roads only when a group of locals do. In fact, it is good practice to maintain a shield of at least three Turks between you and the oncoming traffic.

2. You are white. You are therefore rich and guillable. Accordingly, everyone wants to sell you something. Everyone. Sometimes you can get away before the sales pitch, sometimes you can even get them to tell you where the bus station is, but most of the time the sales pitch will begin. But if you pretend that you are going to buy something (say, a carpet) then you can have a good old-fashioned play with the Turk. The joshing and the kidding, the chance to be extremely blunt (walking away after their counter-offer is a personal favourite of mine, or the particularly blunt 'I hate Turkish carpets') and more importantly, the endless cups of tea are all yours.

to be continued...